Hey there! Today we dive right in to my experience in the world of online dating.
Still today, even though an estimated 35% of relationships begin online, there is a big stigma that goes along with it.
Me personally? I am not embarrassed to admit that I was an avid participant. I went on over fifty first dates, and continued dating several of those men. Three of them I had “relationships” with. This does not include a few guys I dated but never became exclusive with.
I think online dating can be incredibly successful. But like any other kind of dating, there are pros and cons. We are going to take a look at the good, the bad, and the ugly.
Online dating was fantastic for me in so many ways. After you finish college, you really just don’t encounter THAT MANY new people in your day to day life. At least I didn’t. Suddenly, there were all these single men in a nice organized fashion, sending me messages with the purpose of trying to date me! A lot easier for me than out in the real world where, unfortunately, men don’t come with bubbles over their head saying they are single, and happen to be into me.
I met a lot of great guys through online dating. People with whom I never would have interacted had I not met them through my computer screen. People who are smart, funny, interesting, attractive…it is not just a site full of socially-awkward hermits, folks!
Anyway, more on those good guys later. Moving on…
Like anything else, online dating is not without its flaws. My least favorite thing about it, hands down, is what I like to call the “I feel like I already know you” factor.
It is incredibly easy to spend weeks talking to someone through the computer before you ever meet. You learn about this person. You look forward to hearing from them. It feels like you are practically dating.
This was the big mistake I made with the first person I ever met online. I met Jason on Plenty of Fish, and he seemed awesome. I couldn’t believe how I met such a cool person on my first try. He was attractive, smart, funny…
He also lived a good hour and a half away, so we waited several weeks before meeting. We talked online A LOT. And then finally, we met. And I felt…
Nothing. Nada. Zippo. It was clear from the start that his pictures were incredibly old. He looked nothing like them. I just felt no connection. Which I guess would have been not so bad, had he felt no connection as well.
By the end of the date, he told me he was falling in love with me. He wanted to move to my city and thought he could relocate with his job. I was honest with him, while trying to be kind, and I broke his heart,
Yikes! Talk about a crazy experience for my first meet up! After that, I made it a rule that there would be only a few conversations and then a meet up must happen. It saves a lot of heartache in the long run.
Online dating does have a few ugly aspects to it….namely that people are much more willing to say things that they would never be willing to say to your face. It is all too easy to say crazy stuff when you can hide behind a computer screen.
Some guys will also try to insult you as a way to get your attention. I have personally never understood that one. Once, after I did not respond to a guy’s overly flirtatious messages, he told me that in my picture I was wearing so much makeup that it made me look like a “cereal killer”. That DID actually get a response out of me, I couldn’t help myself. I told him that thanks to his warning, my Lucky Charms now feared for their saftey. He responded with more flirtation.
That’s a brief overview on some of the pros and cons I have encountered while doing my time online.
Worth it? That’s for you to decide. For me, I would have to simply say yes.
Readers, what do you think? Was your experience with online dating anything like mine? Was it worth it for you? Let me know in the comments!